My writing experience has by no means been very successful. I’ve had my ups and downs, but for the most part they have been all downs. Although my writings have become more elaborate and distinct, I’m still trying to find my writing “Nitch.” Reading over the years had certainly been my down fall. In 2010 I read one book that I actually loved, and this year I read another book cover to cover just because my girlfriend said it was a good one and it really was. So basically my reading and writing abilities as a whole are not as sharp as I would like them. This by no means makes me think I’m a bad reader or writer. I actually believe my reading and writing skills are great, it’s just that I’ve never been able to take ahold of something and really put my mark on it and make it my own.
As a child I remember reading the Dr. Seuss books just like everyone else. The pictures and rhymes had always been what has caught my attention… Mostly the pictures. I read the Calvin and Hobbes books too because I was his age and I always wanted to have an imaginary stuffed tiger and go on adventures with it. So out of school that was the only real reading I ever did. In school there was always the required readings that the whole class did together. While every kid in my class was eager to get their try at reading the text, I usually just drew on my desk. Other than this I cant recall all the other readings and what not that all the other kids were getting into.
Harry Potter and the Series of unfortunate events were books commonly read amongst my friends but I was always too busy outside exploring my yard or riding bikes with a good friend. I found that outdoors and activities were always much more enjoyable than reading a silly book. This goes the same for reading for school. I never read a school text book until my senior year in my civics class. In this case I read the book from cover to cover not only cause it helped out in the class, but also because American government had always attracted me. It takes something that interests me to write about or read about before I get into it. And to be honest this paper does not exactly fall under the category of “fun” for me either.
Currently or in the recent past of my high school years I generally just read or write the bear minimum to just skip past the glares of the teachers who assigned them. I specifically remember reading my sister’s diary (looking back on it, it was a bad idea.) and after that I gave a try of starting my own journal, which still today has that one entry. That journal is now somewhere in a dump after I threw it away years ago. So today I’ll generally only write about things that are required. Never have I felt compelled to write on my own because it simply bores me to death trying to get ideas from my mind onto a piece of paper, and when it makes it on the paper I quickly get irritated because the ideas never sound as good on paper than they did in my head.
I have listened to books on tape before and found that much more enjoyable cause that takes zero effort on my part. But stories and adventures of other people have never been a hard thing for me to pay attention to. I found that I enjoy music a lot only because of the stories most of the songs tell. I listen to every kind of music and every genera has a different story to be told. Rock is usually about how someone is going to kick some other guy’s ass because he stole his girlfriend. All rap music is about the same stuff; sex, money, drugs, and success. As I write this paper infront of me I am indeed listening to music. Lately I have been listening to a lot of country music. The stories are much better and are almost never about sex, money, drugs, or kicking ass. They are generally about love and the obstacles one faces to achieve to find true love. So this is much more of an adventure in itself listening to the stories of other people and their journey to gain that in their own lives.
The writing I do today like I said has changed immensely over the years. From small half page assignments to five page essays I have to write for this class. I approach it the same way, I’m going to dread it and I’m not going to give it every bit of the attention from me that it may deserve. My favorite writings are about the topics I know the most; hunting, sports, government, and life. I see myself with a blank stare looking at a computer screen and typing tediously to meet the deadline. Ear buds are in and the music is filling my head. Most of this paper infront of me is a distant memory past the last paragraph. I’ve never felt like I have ever had the ability to make a piece of writing my own. It has no identity and is a nameless face in the sea of the other countless no name papers I have written in the past.
I feel that with every letter written or typed is another moment in my life that has passed that I could have been doing to do something that has some self worth to myself instead of something that a teacher of mine or some students will read. It has no real point to me. To other people, I’m sure, its just as bit as exciting that they want it to be. To me its nothing.
For intelligent writing, I feel that I should be using words way past my vocabulary and the context must be sophisticated and advanced for it to be good. I usually pick things that spark my interest and then I can write for hours, but I never get to write about my interests. Even in the times in class that I was told to write a paper about whatever I wanted, still it never seems right when it comes out. If I could I would just sit on a mountain side somewhere and listen to music, stories of other people’s experiences.
Reading is just like writing. If it doesn’t seem like its helping me out then why do it? All the required readings I had to force myself through in school never really had any point at all. Its just another book that some author wrote for other people to read. Fiction, or non fiction, its all the same to me. The only book I read in 2010 was called “Beyond Belief.” This was a story about my favorite baseball player, Josh Hamilton, who overcame an addiction to cocaine and other detrimental things to get back onto the field and live his own dream. Sometimes when reading books that I enjoy I wish it was real life and the main character was me. I wish I was the one falling in love or taking down an entire nation’s army all by myself.
My high school writing classes always taught the same things. They told me how to write and the proper techniques I should use to become a great writer. None of these things ever caught me. I still have no idea what the hell the teacher was talking about half the time only because I wished it was more interesting or wishing I was outside having an adventure of my own. If I could I would read or write about my own life and my experiences. I wish I could write a book and sell it, but so many people write these books and no one ever takes a second look at them in the store. Its all so pointless to me. I understand that writing is something that is vital in the todays world, but why does it have to be something everyone has to do? Why must the kids that have no interest in it be forced to write hours on end against their will?
All of this said, I have no real interest in becoming a writer myself and have no plan of further pursuing writing as a career for myself. Papers are papers. They all have words written on them. Most of the papers written have the same outlook as I do. Its always to just get by in that class. Maybe I’m just naive or difficult to the “world of writing and reading” that I’m missing out on. But being myself and going out into the woods with a gun and a pocket of shells and animals to slay will always win over writing a paper. To be honest I found that writing this paper went from a task to something I actually found enjoyable. I just hope that future papers are as enjoyable as this one. Looking back on my life as a writer and reader has opened my eyes to all the things I have done. I’m in college now and I’m on my own. I have responsibilities and I have to keep writing papers that feel like no one will ever look at them once they are graded. Writing in school is for the moment for now and maybe it will never change. I certainly hope that not everyone in the world has the same outlook as I do, but I gurantee that after this year is past and after the final period has been put on this paper, no one will ever look at it again. It will be lost in the sea of papers that I have written. But one thing this paper will have over the others will be a name. “My Paper.”
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